Often, those who find feeling their emotions a foreign concept have suppressed them so frequently that distancing themselves becomes second nature - often due to survival. They intellectualise what they have felt, "fooling" themselves into "believing" they have truly experienced their emotions - but a part of their soul
I love this. For me, it was when I learned to write in the first person that everything came out. But, I’m older. Now? I love first person finally, for my own work. But it took 40 years to get here. This feels like such good advice, and I wonder if the years of third person were what finally get me speak in first person?
This is covered well in Susan David’s book ‘Emotional Agility’ which I’m part way through. What you’re describing is the first necessary step - acknowledging your emotions and the message they’re sending you. If you’re experiencing negative emotions, studies show that the simple act of spending 20 minutes a day writing them down has immense benefits in lifting your negativity.
The next step, less understood, is to step away from your emotions - not letting them determine your actions. The message they’re sending you could be correct and useful, or they might not be. Just like evolutionary mismatch encourages predispositions that aren’t necessarily useful in our modern age, emotions are messages and subconscious conclusions from the past that don’t necessarily serve us well in the present if acted on. They’re just information - important to acknowledge and understand, but should not be the determinant of your actions, which instead should be driven by conscious values. Over time, persevering with action driven by values, even when your emotions tell you to be scared of the consequences say, eventually leads to fear fading and a better emotional state.
Thank you for this. Very helpful.
I love this. For me, it was when I learned to write in the first person that everything came out. But, I’m older. Now? I love first person finally, for my own work. But it took 40 years to get here. This feels like such good advice, and I wonder if the years of third person were what finally get me speak in first person?
This is covered well in Susan David’s book ‘Emotional Agility’ which I’m part way through. What you’re describing is the first necessary step - acknowledging your emotions and the message they’re sending you. If you’re experiencing negative emotions, studies show that the simple act of spending 20 minutes a day writing them down has immense benefits in lifting your negativity.
The next step, less understood, is to step away from your emotions - not letting them determine your actions. The message they’re sending you could be correct and useful, or they might not be. Just like evolutionary mismatch encourages predispositions that aren’t necessarily useful in our modern age, emotions are messages and subconscious conclusions from the past that don’t necessarily serve us well in the present if acted on. They’re just information - important to acknowledge and understand, but should not be the determinant of your actions, which instead should be driven by conscious values. Over time, persevering with action driven by values, even when your emotions tell you to be scared of the consequences say, eventually leads to fear fading and a better emotional state.