The Fourth Wall

Often, those who find feeling their emotions a foreign concept have suppressed them so frequently that distancing themselves becomes second nature - often due to survival. They intellectualise what they have felt, "fooling" themselves into "believing" they have truly experienced their emotions - but a part of their soul knows better. They are often souls who are deeply sensitive - capable of holding immense compassion and empathy for others.

The solution is to write the narrative in the third person, creating a "fourth wall". There's something about stepping outside oneself - seeing our experiences through the lens of another - that allows the heart to finally open. It creates a space to explore because, in writing a true account, we narrate the character with radical honesty - perhaps for the first time ever.

It is as if they are watching a character live out what they have been through - whether it be difficult events or complex emotional moments. Perhaps it is because they have spent so long showing up for others that they instinctively extend the same grace to a "character". The wall between the mind and the heart begins to crack - enabling them to finally feel comfortable enough to experience pain and release - because they give themselves permission to empathise with the character's pain, and, indirectly, their own.

What follows is often a quiet recognition of just how difficult the ordeal has been. Thus begins the process of sitting with that discomfort and alchemising it into wisdom. Key themes are also more easily analysed for a character than for oneself, capturing previously missed lessons or intentions.

There is power in telling our stories - not just for others, but for ourselves as well. So, do it.