Certain major relational initiations and invitational thresholds can only be gifted once by one person to another - unrepeatable, identity-shaping imprint events with the power to inspire fundamental leaps, catalysing growth that carries a person well beyond their biological age. Given the uniqueness of both parties, such a gift is a beautiful, fateful collision when embraced with gratitude and comprehension. Irreversible in both affect and effect - for, by the timing of events, perhaps even by divine design, they cannot be re-done.
An example of this, for many men, is when their father or father figure chooses them - whether overtly or implicitly - to pass the torch, or perhaps the crown. Fathers choose their strongest son for a reason. It is a quiet honouring and acknowledgement, not just of love, but more so of competence and respect. It is a subtle compliment - that the son has become formidable enough to take the mantle. As humans, we instinctively turn to those who possess the spiritual reserves and innate strength during moments of crisis. A father is no different. For him, it is a moment of quiet pride and ease, because passing on becomes easier when he knows his legacy is left in capable hands.
While the deterioration and demise of a father is exceptionally difficult for the son, it is also an opportunity - a call to becoming. All crisis points are portals for immense growth. While the sting of grief hums and persists, it also feels like an honour to step forward - because it is, it is a one-off experience bestowed upon the chosen, an unspoken rite since time immemorial.
The initiation into becoming often begins internally before it is exhibited externally. It is about excavating, reflecting, and integrating what the father has taught - whether overtly or through his way of being - into the son's own moral code, adding his own interpretation to the parts he wishes to honour. In doing so, the son becomes for someone else what the father once was for him, embodying such profound meaning and wisdom as he moves forward.
Such a man is chosen for a reason, often with awareness and discernment. This is why such potent events must be treated with reverence and respect - you either meet them consciously now, or watch them vanish into the mist forever. These crowns are violently rare, non-transferable, and beckon identity-shifting transformation and integration - they are moments that call forth the true meaning of responsibility, compelling him to forge his version in the fire of his own indomitable will.
Welcoming these experiences with brute-force courage is the key to honouring such profound, once-in-a-lifetime gifts.
Fear not. Jump in. Move through.
I love your prose.