Primal Safe Harbours

I find the grounding, protection, and guidance that men provide to women profoundly beautiful. With our feminine nature shaped by fluidity - dancing through life with liquid and adaptive movements - we often find ourselves instinctively seeking the stabilising presence of strong men. Whether consciously acknowledged or not - there is typically a man in our lives acting as a caretaker - offering emotional anchorage. From our fathers or father figures to the men we love, our brothers, and male friends - their grounding influence is a constant, often subtle yet deeply impactful.

While we can develop self-awareness and cultivate our own sense of stability - the unique form of love and protection men offer remains unparalleled. This dynamic often goes unseen and unacknowledged - particularly in contemporary narratives, yet it plays a critical role in our emotional lives. Even in non-romantic relationships, many women unconsciously rely on male family members or friends as emotional safe havens. This reliance can even be distributed across multiple men - creating an intricate web of support that sometimes operates unnoticed.

Experienced men often recognise this dynamic and respond in one of three ways - by silently offering care, choosing to distance themselves, or exploiting the situation. Women, whether consciously or not, represent an emotional responsibility to many men. This is why ingratitude towards men’s emotional labour can feel deeply insulting to them - it dismisses a role that, while quietly assumed, is foundational to us. Some women may fail to pause and appreciate the grounding that men provide, taking it for granted.

This emotional caretaking and transference can serve as a profound indicator of safety and belonging. A woman’s instinctive reliance, even if she attempts to rationalise or resist it, reveals where her primal safe harbour lies. We are drawn to where we feel most secure.