While men often desire physical possession, if not full dominion, over the women they love - the unspoken truth is that women are just as possessive. We seek possession of the mind, heart, and soul of the men we love and have loved. As most women bond emotionally more readily, once we do, we yearn to exert dominion over their inner landscapes. This explains why, in films, male protagonists frequently proclaim that they are consumed by the female lead. Female desire is emotional and thus inherently linked with consuming turbulence - we crave the same emotional intensity mirrored back to us.
However, dynamics where both parties burn with such passion are rarely sustainable. These ideals have been ingrained in us since childhood through fairy tales and other forms of media. Longing, tortured, and incomplete loves are painted as the epitome of romance - live-action Shakespearean tragedies that never had the opportunity to unfold - suspended in time, lingering indefinitely. It is an unhealthy and unrealistic ideal that many women buy into.
This is why many women, even with former lovers, seek reassurance that they still occupy a place in the man’s heart, mind, and soul. It explains the feminine tendency to ruminate over how "special" we were to past connections and why some women boast about messages from former lovers - parading these "trophies" of unresolved attachment - indirectly revealing that these messages still hold meaning. Someone indifferent would not care enough to broadcast it.
Ultimately, it is all ego-driven, born from the desire to mean something, to know that we mattered - and still do.
I've been following you on twitter for a while, I wonder how you understand the dynamic between both sexes well. Everything you say resonates with me, and I can't help but fall in love with every post as I feel like I can connect on a deeper level with you the writer. It's lovely