People speak of forgiveness as if it is something simple, as if one can easily choose between forgiveness and resentment. Yet, in reality, beneath it all lies pain and anger. Betrayal is rarely straightforward. Often, those who have been betrayed are not only hurt by the act itself and the person who carried it out - they also subconsciously blame themselves for allowing it to happen - for not noticing the subtle shifts.
Forgiveness is difficult because, on one hand, one must make peace with oneself, and on the other, with the person who betrayed them. Sometimes, that peace never comes. Moreover, the person trying to forgive often feels like an imposter - role-playing a character they do not resonate with. There’s an uncomfortable awareness that they are almost self-gaslighting - trying to convince themselves that forgiveness makes them more virtuous, more holy.
There is no right or wrong in this process - there is only release. The fundamental truth is that what is broken cannot be restored to what it once was. In love, it is possible to love again, but it will never be the same love that once existed in the relationship. If forgiveness cannot be achieved, it becomes a matter of acceptance - realising that things simply are - that the past cannot be changed. Each moment spent ruminating on the past steals away time from a future one could live with freedom and gratitude.
When one lies on their deathbed, they will not regret the moments they chose to look forward. They will regret the time wasted on someone who never respected them. To let go is to accept - and just be.